Before they will release us they have to know things are as safe as possible for our return to home. So it was a time for the therapists to go over what equipment they thought was needed for the safety of all involved. We discussed the different aspects of our home, how we could do things, etc. What we came to realize very quickly was that we really were indeed blessed that our home was already so accessible! Wow! To be a normal person and fall and break your hip this would be even more overwhelming!
There are some men going to my home tomorrow night to make some preparations. We have to add a couple of things to our shower. We will be getting a hospital bed so the king size bed has to come down! Then I'm going to have them move Krisann's bed into my room. So she and I will be bed partners in my room and Zine will be in the hospital bed. He is not excited about this at all! But it is for his safety and mine!!
We have perfected transfers to level surfaces just about every time. We finally got clearance for Zine and I to do them ourselves...so no more waiting on a tech to come before he can do anything. That has been nice! Unlevel surfaces are a bit more difficult to transfer. And the transfer to the commode is quite difficult here. But we think we have it fixed so it will be easier at home. We will have home health therapists coming in to help us figure things out at home as well.
He has lost some more of his independence for the next while but he and I have managed that pretty well so far. We have become quite the team. I hope it stays that way! Showering and dressing can't be done alone for sure! And when transferring someone always needs to be there just for safety sake and helping with the board and his feet. There will definitely be some pretty big life changes to say the least. Morning and night routines will be the most time consuming and most difficult. But...we will pretty much be stuck together. Zine being alone is just about out of the question for the next several many weeks. Conner is ready to help carry some of the load when we get home!
I didn't want to be here and thought it was a horrible terrible idea. But...now that we've been here...going home brings up some anxiety to say the least. There will be no help! There will be no one with me and him when we transfer and when we shower or bathe. It will be Conner and I! And that scares me. I do NOT want to let anything happen to him! I will be quite over protective of him to say the least. I will feel horrible if we let him fall or something happen to him. And before I wanted to go home so bad that I wasn't scared at all...but now...it's different. I guess I have more sober thinking now.
Zine's emotional status went up today just knowing home is on the horizon. That doesn't mean that when he wakes up he will be in the same place. Both of our emotions have been so crazy! One moment we think we can do this and the next moment we are crying and miserable. As evidenced by these pictures. Yes, I have climbed right up in that hospital bed with him numerous times. We have cried in that bed. We have laughed in that bed. We have talked in that bed. We have grieved in that bed. We have pushed the nurse button on accident in that bed. :-) But...we have not slept in that bed together just so you all know that! Don't want any rumors surfacing about what we did while we were at the hospital!!
His UTI is better. He has been having some pretty bad pain yesterday and today. So we are keeping ice on his hip and taking pain meds. But the therapist told him today it was not unusual for the pain to set in about a week after surgery. But he sees home as an attainable goal now...so he's better emotionally.
Our children have amazed us this week. The first part of this experience got off to a rocky start with them. Conner just two days out from having his wisdom teeth removed, strong emotions, uncertainty, Krisann being shifted from pillar to post and some clashing personalities in the middle of stress set us off on the wrong foot. But things have settled and Conner and Chloe have just made us so proud! Not saying anything negative about anyone...but in times of high stress we all react differently and can be easily agitated, we can be highly emotional and need to shed some tears, we can need love and tenderness. And I think we definitely saw that in our children the first part of this adventure.
This whole experience has brought something to light in my life...not only have I gotten skinny... I have gotten very weak! I had no clue how weak I had become until we've had this happen. Man oh man, I've definitely got to work harder. I need some muscle back. And some energy!
Pray for us as we navigate the changes in our lives yet again. Pray for all the necessities to come together so by the end of the week we will be at home! Pray for our kids as we prepare to return home. Sometimes, when we return we bring stress. When we are away they can escape reality. But when we are there, it is a constant reminder. And pray that I can increase some things in my diet that will help me get to the point I can build some muscle back!
You know...I can never ever write enough thank you notes to say the least! And thank you seems so inadequate! But thank you for the many many prayers. Thank you for the physical acts of service. Thank you for those that have comforted us. And for those who have orchestrated behind the walls to make sure we were cared for. God gives us all gifts and when we all use the gifts He has given us, then we begin to bless others. And we've been the recipient of many blessings!
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