Learning as we go

Well, if you've ever heard the phrase, can't live with insurance and can't live without it?  Well that's a reality in our lives right now.  We literally have been walking through this season of our lives blindly. Transitioning from working to short term disability to long term disability has come with many decisions.  And never walking this road before nor knowing anyone experienced to closely walk this road with us has left us just doing the best we can.  I assure you, we have made several mistakes in this process.  I have no problems playing dumb and asking hundreds of questions, but even at that we still don't make the best decision.  And each time we make a wrong decision, there are always hurdles to overcome!

On Saturday, when I opened my mail I discovered another letter outlining that our insurance has been appealed.  There are so many loops and holes in the Obamacare system.  Somehow when my husband goes on disability,  his lowest cost of insurance is COBRA for himself.  That idea is absurd!  This also means that I'm probably going to have to repay the past six months of our insurance!  Arghh!!!  It seems that I am most likely going to have to purchase an insurance policy for me, we will have to pay cobra for Zine, and my kids are on medicaid.  My life in many respects is governed by the government.  And it is not beautiful and it is not as wonderful as one could envision it to be.  It causes me much much stress.  It frustrates me beyond belief.   So I begin another battle...another insurance battle.  I find myself often praying that God would find favor for us in this process.  And sometimes He shows Himself powerful!  He is powerful all the time, I just don't always position myself to see His power.

I think I even blogged about it, we received letters a few weeks ago that Zine had to go to two different doctors, one in another town, for social security process.  I understood, but found it quite difficult and aggravating.  I prayed for favor in those appointments!  I prayed for smooth not difficult!  And you guys, I got two letters in the mail last week from my lovely social security office and they were letters canceling Zine's appointments.  Why?  I don't know.  But to me...God gave favor.  He gave me smooth not difficult!  I love it when God shows up like that!  And when I feel that God is not showing up, I need to take a moment to position myself, my emotions, my thoughts, so that His power can be seen! 

And as I dive into my next insurance battle this week, I pray for smooth not difficult.  I pray for great clarification!  I pray to NOT have to pay thousands of dollars only hundreds!!  Better yet, I will just pray I have to pay nothing!!

I hope that none of my friends ever have to walk through these waters of disability and insurance battles, but if you do, I will be honored to hold your hand!  I have wished for someone to hold my hand and help me through this season of paperwork upon paperwork, insurance battles, and appeals.  So I hope my wisdom is never needed but if it is, I will be honored to walk with you through this season.  And if you're someone reading this that I don't even know, please don't hesitate to comment! I would help perfect strangers to keep them from walking through the difficult waters alone!