6 Year Journey

6 years ago, Zine Brooks Smith walked.  6 years ago, few people knew he was sick.  6 years ago he had a limp that wouldn't go away.  6 years ago, our lives were full, busy, and incredibly happy!  6 years ago we began our journey to Mayo Health Clinic in Rochester, MN to find out if indeed Zine had Progressive MS like the dr here thought he did.  If you've never read our story you can read about the beginning of our Mayo Story here.  This was the first blog in our journey.  Keep moving forward in our blog and you can read our complete Mayo story.  Six years ago, life was totally different than it is now.

6 years ago Zine walks in lego stores and is full of life.

6 years ago Zine could walk on the beach!

My personal favorite 6 years ago picture!

6 years ago we spent many nights at the Miracle League Park where Zine coached a team!

6 years ago, Zine could squat down to the ground!

Often I find myself looking back at the changes in our lives and grieving.  I think I can honestly say six years feels like an eternity ago.  Oh how I wish we could go back to these days 6 years ago where life was full!  Friends, don't let a day go past that you don't thank God for your health, for a busy home, for a happy full life, etc.  I know I took these things for granted six years ago!

Now, Zine sits on a screened porch and reads for fun.  

Our lives have been full of hospitals, chemos, and doctors.

And now family activities are few and far between.

Six years has definitely been a journey!  A difficult journey!  God has done amazing things in this journey!  He has sustained us through each and every situation.  From blue chemo and permanent cath to week long chemo and head lice, from multiple blood clots in lungs to a broken hip to acute pancreatitis...God has been our sustainer.  From depression and severe anxiety to eating struggles...God has been our comfort and strength.   From daughters who struggle emotionally to a guy who is so much like his mama it's scary...God has sustained even our children.  When we have felt like we could not take one more thing to the overwhelming gratefulness...God has been in each and every one of those places.  When we have felt deserted and unseen, God has been there!

His faithfulness is our comfort.  Whatever the next six years hold, we can hold onto with confidence that God will be in each and every moment!  But even with that knowledge and comfort, our hearts still have to process and grieve here on earth.  Our hearts are full of gratitude and confidence that God is at work but our hearts are full of grief and sadness, fear and uncertainty, and often just an overwhelmed spirit!

MS we despise you!  We despise how you have wrecked our family!  We despise how you have robbed our dad and husband of his physical abilities.  We despise how you have wreaked havoc in our emotional well beings.  But MS...there's one thing you must know...I know the end of the story!  One day you will not exist!  There will be victory over you!  But in the meantime, we will continue to grieve and we will continue to let God be our strength, our sustainer, our comfort!