Too long since my last post...

Since my last post...

I spent a week in Arkansas with my parents.  It was a good week but a difficult week.  My mom definitely was not well.  You know music is supposed to soothe Alzheimer's patients.  So one night, I even found myself right up in that bed with my mama, rubbing her head, and singing to her!  I wonder how many times she did that for me when I was growing up?  However, when I found Dawn  dishwashing soap in my sour cream, I didn't sing too sweetly.  I actually just had to smile!  I will probably always remember singing to my mama and I will probably always remember Dawn in my sour cream!  I was blessed to be with them for a week!  I was blessed that I got to meet all the workers from Hospice!  And I got to be there to interview and hire a new CNA.  Departing was actually difficult!  It sure crushed my heart that I had to leave them there!

Here my sweet parents working a puzzle.  Tried to engage my mom a bit!

Sour cream with blue dawn dishwashing liquid.

But I had to return to my family!  I left all of a sudden and didn't prepare them for my departure.  The boys made it fine but Chloe missed her mama.  Chloe has been so sick the past few months that she just needs her mama nearby!  Please pray for her as we continue to battle headaches.  She's also had walking pneumonia and just been quite a sick girl!

I think this was her very first breathing treatment!

Here's my headache sick pale face girl!

Krisann went with me to Arkansas and did very well until the last day.  Then I think she had had all the stress she could take!  But I so enjoyed my sweet girl being with me.  We returned home just in time for her to have dress rehearsal and participate in her Christmas musical at church!  She had started on anxiety meds but it was making her VERY impulsive.  So we weaned her off of that and started on a new one.  3 and half weeks on new med and she woke up one morning this past week like a different child.  Impulsive and uncontrollable!  So...we have now taken that sweet girl off of anxiety meds.  We are going to try to treat her anxiety with other means.  I am so sad that she has such anxiety in her life.  But...living with an uncontrollable and impulsive child is not very awesome either.  So pray for us that we can learn to help her manage her anxiety well.

Love this girl!  God knew I needed her!

Lastly, Zine has had a difficult week this week.  He woke up Monday morning with his shoulder really bothering him.  We don't know what is wrong with it.  We thought maybe he slept wrong on it. But here we are at the end of the week and it's not any better.  Could be MS related.  But I think we are going to have to get it checked out just to make sure.  But poor guy...when your mobility is very limited and you lose the use of one arm...it makes it very difficult.  So yes Wednesday morning this is how I started my day...

No, he's not taking a nap in the floor!

Despite his and mine best effort, he fell with us trying to transfer from his wheelchair to his recliner chair.  But it's truly amazing how God orchestrates details.  Conner was having his weekly accountability meeting with Will.  So I called Conner to come home and help me get Zine up and who else came...Will!  I was so thankful!  I just sat down in the floor and rubbed Zine's head and talked to him while we waited for some help! Thankful he wasn't hurt and for two strong guys to pick him up!

I decided on Wednesday after we got him settled in his chair that we would put some heat on his shoulder to see if that would help!  So over the course of the day I heated the rice bag up 3 different times.  I heated the bag exactly like Chloe and I use it!  However, Wednesday night when he took his shirt off to get ready for bed, Chloe realized that he had a sore on his back.  So I looked and was immediately horrified.  It wasn't a sore...it was a burn!  My rice bag at some point had burned him!  I felt so terrible!!  And it wasn't like a red skin burn.  It was...a blister burn!

He says, "My wife abused me!"  "She burnt me with an iron!"
Good thing people know better!!

Needless to say, the last thing we need is for this burn to get infected.  He already has a UTI and a yeast infection which I found out about on this same Wednesday!!  So off I go at 11 pm to get nonstick pad to put over this burn in effort to keep it clean and dry!  I was so thankful for a place that was open 24 hours a day!!  I made it a point to be extra nice to the folks working in the store!

Never mind it's 11:20 at night!

OPEN 24 hours a day!  Thank you Jesus!

I could go into many more details  But these are glimpses into what has been going on!  My plate has been full the past two and half weeks.  I finally just put up our Christmas tree last night!  I have been pretty anxiety driven myself in a lot of ways.  I have also been super sad!  My mind has played over and over again, my last night home with my mom when she was so distraught and confused.   I am also back to sharing my bed most nights with my 7 year old.  I have often felt overwhelmed and thought what else God?  Wednesday my car was in the shop, my internet and phone were out, my husband fell, my oldest girl has a horrid headache, my 7 year old is coming off anxiety meds yet again, a couple whom we love dearly is fighting for their marriage today, and now I have burned my husband.  Really...what else shall I need to handle today Jesus?

BUT...

In the middle of all this chaos, God has given me strength.  He has given me wisdom.  He has overflowed my heart with love for those in my path.  He has given me confidence that my mom is in good hands with hospice and my two sitters.  He has protected me from many enemy attacks because He knew I was having weak moments!  He has provided human touches just at the right time.  Even when I was in Arkansas, God sent me His love through people!  He has allowed me to never feel out of control or stressed that I had too much going on and couldn't handle it.  (well, except for Wednesday night) And He has allowed me to see life through grateful eyes!  This time last year I was in a huge battle with God.  I think over the last year God has grown me in unbelievable ways!!  Despite all our chaos and heartaches, God has given us a deeper faith!  I think the chaos and heartaches is what has developed in us a deeper faith!  And I am choosing to look in the past and see that God has been faithful in every detail.  So why not trust that since He has been faithful in the past that He will be faithful in the future.  He will be faithful to help us parent our children in difficult times.  He will be faithful in decisions regarding Chloe's health.  He will be faithful in preparing us for whether we repeat the next round of chemo!  He will be faithful to care for my parents.  He will be faithful no matter what!  Can't I just rest in that...God will be faithful no matter what...I just must trust!